One of the hardest issues to contend with as a work-at-homeschool mom is the
perception of others that you aren’t working. Many people think that working at
home isn’t working at all, and that you have all of the free time in the world.
Those who have spent any time working at home know that there is a lot of time
and energy that goes into effectively working at home. Friends who call in the
middle of the day, spouses who expect you to be doing more while home or family
members who make offhand comments, can undermine those efforts. Add homeschooling to the mix, and you have a recipe for misunderstandings and frayed tempers.
Not all stay at home moms work, and they certainly don't usually try to work and homeschool. If you have friends who
do neither, it can be hard impossible for them to understand that your days aren’t free. Calls
during your working time, invitations to lunch and uninvited guests can throw a
wrench in your work schedule. In order to get your friends to respect your
time, it’s important to make your working schedule clear to them. And to make them understand that homeschooling is not a hobby or a whim, but the most important part of your "work" day.
If you don’t have a clear work schedule, then it is time to
make one for yourself. Since school is obviously a priority, you will have to be intentional about setting aside hours that you designate as "work." By setting office hours for yourself, you will make it clear
to everyone around you that you are serious about your work. It will also help
set boundaries for your time. Tell your friends that you will be unavailable
from a certain time to a certain time, but you’d love to talk before or after
those times. Make sure your children are able to work independently, or that your older children can supervise the younger ones during the time you are "in the office." You may even go so far as to turn off your phone. If you do answer
the phone and someone wants to chat, politely let them know that you are
working but can speak after a certain time. Also, schedule things like lunches
or visits for one day per week. This way you’ll reduce the drop-ins and
spontaneous invitations.
Spouses can sometimes have difficulty understanding why, if
you are home all day, the housework isn’t done. This problem can best by solved
by familiarizing him with the nature of your homeschool and your business. Show him exactly what
you need to do each day, and how long it takes to do each task. Help him
understand your work schedule, and how much time you need to work per day.
Happily, homeschool dads are usually good about recognizing the sacrifice you are making to homeschool your children, and they just need to walk through your day realize the
benefits of your work as well.
Then ask him to help you come up with solutions for working
at home and maintaining the household. Make a list of things that need to be
done each week, and assign duties to you, him and the children (those who are old
enough). Then taking care of the house becomes a family priority and something
that you all share responsibility in. Notify him of any special projects by
keeping a work calendar on the wall. That way he can see what is going on with
your work schedule, and why you have ordered pizza for dinner three times in
the last week!
Many work at homeschool moms can be hurt over offhand comments about working
at home. Family or even friends can say things like “Well you have the time,
because you are at home.” These are usually the same ones who cannot understand why you homeschool, or what it entails. In situations like these, you have two choices. You
can either get upset and offer a flustered defense or you can take their
comments with a grain of salt and offer a calm response. Depending on the
situation you can say something like “Well, school ends at 2pm, and after that I have several hours in the office. Let me check my work schedule. I know
I am not available on these days” or “That would be great on Friday afternoon,
which is when I leave time in my work schedule for those types of things.”
Remember, working at home is new territory for many people
although the numbers of moms who are trying to work at home and homeschool are growing. It may take some time for the
average person to understand the commitment and scheduling that it takes to
effectively mix a home business with homeschooling. You may never convince some people that you are
actually teaching and working while at home, but establishing respect for your own time is
one way to make them see that what you are doing is important.
