What am I doing anyway?

My daughter Christina has been having a crisis of confidence in the last several months, trying to decide what she wants to be when she grows up.

At 20, her options are not cast in stone. What she is doing now is not what she has to do forever. Who she is now is undoubtedly not who she will be later. Her turmoil has been an occasion for much reflection on my part.

You see, I have been pondering lately if I have turned out to be what I wanted to be when I grew up. Are the things I am doing the ones I always wanted to do?

What am I doing, anyway?

Well, since 1984, I have been a Christian. I can't say I always wanted to be one, but I am ever so grateful that God pursued me until I changed my mind. And without Jesus I could never have managed any of the things that came after...

Since 1985, I have been a homemaker. This is actually not one of the things I ever thought I wanted to be. I observed my mother's apparently boring life and wanted no part of it. I still struggle with the housekeeping part. But I now understand that what I saw as boring was actually stability and security. And so, the wife-and-mother part has brought me more fulfillment than any of the other things I have done, or probably ever will do.

Since 1989, I have been a homeschooling mom. I would never have been able to have time to do that had I not had the luxury of being a homemaker. If I didn't feel strongly that I have a mandate from God to keep them home, well...let's just say that homeschooling has to be a conviction- not just one of many acceptable choices - if you expect to be able to go the distance. Gutless wonders need not apply.

My grandmother used to have three things that defined her life. She would say proudly, "I'm an Indian, a Catholic, and a Democrat!" I guess at the end of the day I would have to say, "I'm a Christian, a homeschooling mom, and ..."

An internet marketer.

Say what?

Internet marketing is one of the main things I keep going back to when I think about who I am and what I do. Just ask anyone who knows me. But lately I have been giving a lot of thought to whether these three things are compatible. Can one successfully mix homeschooling and operating an internet home business? Yes, I have been doing it since 1999. But the key word is SUCCESSFULLY. Have I successfully home schooled and maintained my internet business? More importantly, have I honored God in the process?

Is it even possible?

This blog will record my journey toward answering these questions.