To all mothers everywhere - this one's for you. Happy Mother's Day!
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.
In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.
Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the
Emergency Room.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.
Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside,
and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed
During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park
or a similar
setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids
setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids
each night
and in the morning,
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.
A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
