Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Your Teacher Said WHAT?!??

I received this in an email, and frankly, I laughed my behind off.

At first.

And you probably will laugh, too, in spite of yourself.

But if a homeschooling parent said this to one of their students, it would be child abuse.

These incredibly cruel and insensitive remarks were made on students' report cards by actual teachers in New York City. Though all the teachers were reprimanded, as I thought about it I realized the remarks are a glimpse into the attitude that many New Yorkers have that there is No Intelligent Life outside of certain boroughs of New York City. I know, I lived there for 7 years in my Previous Life on Wall Street, and once felt that way myself, fancying myself to be some kind of more highly evolved life form, and who looked with disdain on the Red State people in the flyover portion of the country.

Would you not head on down to the school and kick some pasty teacher rump if someone said this to - or about - YOUR kid?

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. You child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving some village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.

I thought the schools were making a big deal about protecting students from bullies, but it sounds to me like the Bullies are in charge.

This is just one more reason to keep your child at home where he can learn at his own pace and be celebrated and taught according to his strengths, rather than be judged and insulted for his weaknesses.


  1. Hahaha! I laughed my pants off! I don't want to be the receiving end of the comments, though.

  2. Honest to GOD.. one junior high art teacher sent a note home with the first line as, "Joe hates his sister..." (Art class, mind you) I was completely mortified- as it was probably true. But my parents thought it was hilarious.

  3. Wow. And to think there may have been some that weren't caught.

  4. My son came home and told me his teacher called a student "ghetto" and I am not saying calling someone ghetto is a good or bad thing, some people joke around using the word but my son says the student cried and the teacher thought it was funny. I wasn't there to see this in action but I can verify that this teacher yelled at my son in front of me once and everyone of our meetings has been unpleasant, I think it is time to write a letter to the school.